That 1% of Doubt

               I have always been a believer of God. Though I feel as though some of the churches I have attended have been teaching in a way God wouldn't teach. All churches teach different. Your not gonna find one that is the same. That is whats so hard about Christianity, Everyone (Priest, believers, etc.) are making their own view on the Bible and sometimes the bible doesn't even say some of the things someone is saying. That is what is causing all this hate on our religion. I live my life not by what my church tells me to do but what I believe Jesus would do. I live my life by loving those around me no matter who they are. I have no hate or disrespect for those who don't believe. I can't save everyone, but I have to love them. They need to feel love and that may change their views. Never force religion on someone. That will cause them to step back even farther then they already are.
               One of the most negative views on Christians is the view on gay marriage. Yes God did say a marriage is between a man and women but where does he say that being gay is a hell sentence. His main mission was love and those who are in love are being given his most valuable gift. Many people shun those who are gay, but in the bible it says to love the sinner but hate the sin. Those who believe that they will go to hell because of their beliefs just baffles me. We don't know who God is going to accept into his kingdom. So who are we to be able to judge that. If you confess your sin you are saved. I don't really consider being gay as a sin but I am no bible expert. I feel as though so many people I went to school with who know I am a Christian think I am so judgmental of the subject. Many think this probably because of my dads strong beliefs but I am my own person and my Dad does not influence me.
               Anyway, the reason my title of this post is that 1% doubt is because today eating lunch with my mom and sister the whole heaven came up. Now I believe and for sure hope that there is a heaven. I remember the first night back in 5th or 6 grade thinking about death and the fact that we will die and be gone and it brings me to tears because I think that what if what I am being told is false. What if there isn't a heaven. I believe there is but there is that 1% of doubt that just destroys me. To think that a day I could die and that be it. Everything is done and I am gone. I am no where on this earth anymore. Its hard to believe that. That's why its hard for me to talk about it. After my suicide attempt this past January I just can't believe I almost threw away this life I was given. I just wish I would be given the 100% answer that heaven is real. I know that can't happen because that wouldn't be the point of having faith and following God.
                Well I am glad I got that out of the way. Its been building inside of me for so long now. I hope all of us love those around us. Think about how much hate would disappear...Ugh that would be amazing. Be back later.

Peace and Love,
Taylor

Just Getting Started

             Never really thought I would do a blog so we will see how this goes.

            I  love writing poetry and have been in 4 books total. It has been very exciting be able to share some of the things I have written and am very proud of. Life isn't always easy but if you put a step forward and don't look back it will be alright. lately I have had so much things to share but haven't been able to say anything because it is something you can't completely share out loud. That is one of the reasons why I have decided to begin a blog. I will never name names but I will have a open mind for sure. The world is really harsh out there today and we need to help bring it back to calm place where people can finally be happy with how things turn out. Well got to go to the dentist but tonight I will post my first "real blog". Peace and love, Taylor.